Saturday, June 25, 2011

Calm Down- I Made Dinner

From my posts you’ve probably gotten a sense of how good a cook J is. That, combined with my naturally lazy disposition, means he has become almost solely responsible for my dietary needs. Things reached a head the last time he traveled, when for 4 days I ate cereal, toast, fast food, leftovers, any food item containing sugar, and Lean Cuisines.

This is especially appalling as I am a good cook! I lived alone until my late 30s and managed to produce balanced interesting meals for every one of those dinners (excluding the ones that were alcohol only- but, hey, I poured it). I LOVE food but I don’t find food preparation to be as zen inducing as he does. It may have to do with the clean-up afterwards. If I’ve taken the time to make a fresh healthy meal from scratch I want to sit down, relax, and enjoy said meal. Afterwards, I want to watch bad TV. I do not want to stand at the sink for 20 minutes in rubber gloves scraping plates and scouring pans.

When I realized J would be out of town for the next 3 days I knew the time had come to stop acting like a college student and grow up. And as shown in the picture below I have done just that. Oh yes I did! I rocked it- crusting, searing, hot pans in the oven and all. OK, Ina rocked it with this awesome recipe for salmon but the broccoli with lemon juice and pepper flakes and brown rice is all me. Let this stand as proof that while I do have my poor husband enslaved to my culinary needs when push comes to shove I can feed myself. And I did buy him a cashmere chair so back off.

Next up? I’m going back to what I know best: dark chocolate salted caramel brownies. In case you’re wondering they’ll be the entrĂ©e for tomorrow’s dinner. Honestly, I can only change so much.

It's a little dark but I like crispy breadcrumbs!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day Again

It’s back. Why? He’s gone.

He was gone before I even knew it. Gone before he knew it. Coming off the lake after a perfect day of fishing with his best friends. Did he have even a moment to know what his death would do? What sorrow, pain, chaos, and disorder it would bring? I hope not and yet, being the man he was, I think as the last synapse fired he felt worry knowing what he was leaving behind and that none of his children were prepared to handle it. He would never have wished for such a burden to fall to us just as it should never have fallen to him. But it did. To all of us.

So we were left. All our lives turned inside out by such a train wreck as we could not imagine. By the time my life was my own again it was too late to grieve. Only one person got to grieve and they used up all the grief in the room.

Instead of grief I am left with some awful permutation of sorrow and rage. The horrible aftermath crowds my mind until he is a bit player in his own death. I know I have to find my way back but until that time I’ll just focus very hard and write five things about him I know to be true and that made him the man I called Dad. How I wish I could call him now.

      1. Never met a bowl of popcorn he didn’t like2. He believed I could do or be whatever I set my mind to (gave me a copy of Zig Ziglar’s See You at the Top when I finished college)3. Was universally respected by the people he worked with and for- even when they didn’t agree4. Was one of the best extemporaneous speakers I’ve ever heard. Weddings, funerals- he hit the perfect note every time (despite referring to me as the Edsel at our rehearsal dinner)5. Made sure that we had a family vacation every summer

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies

photo by Michelle Stiles

Hello Sunday afternoon! What better time to bake something yummy, feel virtuous, and spend the rest of the afternoon recuperating (and eating said fab cookies).

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Marital Compromises

Marriage has so many potential pitfalls, some of them larger than others. Toothpaste tube squeeze- middle, end, don’t care? Bed etiquette- made every morning or why bother? Meal clean-up- dishes left in sink or immediately into the dishwasher?

Friday, June 3, 2011

Eye Eyes

All right, I’m not going to head into the weekend leaving you with such a whiny baby bitchfest of a post. Instead, here’s something a little less serious and hopefully more useful. I can’t necessarily say these are two things I love but I like them a lot- especially for women of a certain age (like me).

The Unemployment Diaries: No Love This Week

I cannot believe I am going to be so feeble and pathetic but might as well fess up to it, right?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Official Geekdom Achieved

Sometimes when you need a lift the universe will supply one. Today did not start out well and I’m sliding further into the unemployment blues so even volunteering at the library did not feel as great as it usually does. Until…

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