Friday, December 31, 2010

Alanis Morissette

I had forgotten how much I miss her. Not zen, buddhist, married, well adjusted, new mom Alanis but edgy, angry, angsty oh so vocal Alanis.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Last Day

At 1:38 today I turned off the light in my office and walked out. Prior to that I had walked around and said my goodbyes and remained resolutely cheerful and dignified. No tears. Not until I looked out my window at the view of the river and at my desk completely denuded of all my personal touches, like the feathered stripper shoe pen and teapot collection. Suddenly it became a moment of lasts- last time turning out the light, last time in the elevator (which went straight from our floor to the lobby- an almost unheard of circumstance), last time pulling out of the garage...ugh.

If you don't stop and think about things you can move through them without much pain. It's when you slow down that it can hurt. I'm going to stop thinking until January 3rd. Right now it is the holidays and there are presents to open, places to go, food to eat and a helluva lot of wine to drink. For that I'm grateful and as dear old Scarlett said, "After all, tomorrow is another day."

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Not what I wanted to hear

Walking back from lunch last week I turned an expectant eye to the corner where the little horse is always tethered waiting but he was gone. I tried to take the zen path and smile knowing his owner had reclaimed him or moved him to a spot where he was needed more but inside I knew that whatever universe I inhabited was going to implode.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin

I just read that Gosselin was going to be on an episode of Palin's show and could only marvel at how once again nature has prevailed with a perfect pairing. Like flies and shit.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Role Reversal?

Is anyone else experiencing any of the issues they used to deal with as a small child? Lately I've been bewildered on several occasions by forgetting to zip my pants.

And please don't remind me of the circle of life by pointing out I'll be in diapers again at some point.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Multiple Sclerosis and Reality TV Part 1

The following will build to an unmitigated rant so if you have a weak stomach or are sitting next to a small child move on to the next blog. No wait, don’t do that, please! Just let me vent because I don’t do it often and sometimes I really need to. Tell yourself that by reading this you are stopping me from driving a busload of kittens and bunnies over a cliff while eating far too much chocolate.

Please explain to me what feels like a sudden onslaught of women on reality TV who have MS and use it as an excuse for their bad, irresponsible, stupid (and sometimes illegal) behavior.

Let’s start with the mother on the show Downsized. I have no doubt this woman has MS but she seems to be playing as fast and loose with her treatment and understanding of the disease as she did with her finances (hence bankruptcy and 2 foreclosures). Don’t get me wrong- I have a modicum of sympathy for her situation because lots of people bought on credit and now it sucks to be them. But in all the episodes and discussions of her MS- including an entire episode about her MRI –she makes no mention of taking any of the disease modifying drugs despite having health insurance. Instead the only mention of any treatment she makes is that she MUST drink lots of Starbucks coffee to keep the fatigue away. WTF? Yes, fatigue is a big part of MS but there are drugs (that only cost $25 or less a month) specifically to treat fatigue and Starbucks ain’t one of them. Any legitimate neurologist (or PCP) has to have told her that caffeine is a stimulant that can cause more damage for people with CNS disorders because it stimulates your system temporarily. Then you crash. IT IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR MS. 

Oh and the fact that this woman does nothing more for her MS then get MRIs every 6 months is highly specious. Does she think she's serving the MS community by not talking about injections? Because they're painful and have unpleasant side effects? It's ludicrous, insulting and incredibly irresponsible. The drugs suck but they are the only options out there so you take them. Instead, she runs around being thin and tan making a difficult to understand disease more confusing to anyone watching. It's NOT fun, it's NOT without its effects, and even if you are wearing shorty shorts and tank tops and refusing to take drugs it is working it's way through your brain and spinal cord.

Deep breath. I’m going to take a Xanax and come back to this later.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


If I have to defriend everyone I know who buys a Kindle I'll be running a deficit by the end of the year.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Mom and Doris Day

I first started getting interested in blogs when I discovered Dooce © while living in Utah. Here was a funny quirky woman who lived in the same state I did but instead of being made miserable by it she broke out. 

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving This Year

As last year's Thanksgiving involved tears, drunkeness (not my own so not that interesting), hysteria, lies, and possible hospitalization (again not my own so definitely not as interesting) I will only say that getting up this morning to completely sanitize my bathroom right down to getting 6 months worth of soap scum off the glass shower doors felt downright exhilerating. And the epitome of giving thanks.

With the exception of a Godfather marathon on AMC. Now that's Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Aspire: Audrey Hepburn

Audrey Hepburn in all her timeless perfection.
from Special Photographer by Leo Fuchs
Let's get it out there now- I idolize her. She is the epitome of class and style and there will likely be more photos of her to come because I have never seen one that I did not think was breathtaking So get over it because you know I'm right. 

Monday, November 15, 2010

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Note to Iman: putting a stop punch emphasis on every other word does not make you sound authoritative it makes you sound stilted and weird. And not in that 'I was just discovered in Somalia and have only been in the U.S. for 20 minutes' way which you should have outgrown 30 years ago but in a way much more artificial- fierce but not in a good way. You're judging clothes not getting ready to invade Poland- so stop it! If Teutonic hottie Heidi Klum can relax and laugh so can you.

Which is the crux of the matter. Fashion Show is no more than methadone to a Project Runway junkie. A weak substitute even though I adore Isaac Mizrahi (which is why I simply won't do a comparison between him and Tim Gunn. Despite their Liz Claiborne/work issues, I love them both!).

Amend that. I ADORE Tim Gunn. If I could have one day with him to go through my wardrobe, fly to NYC, go shopping, have a cocktail and nice supper it would be one of the happiest days of my life. And I would look fabulous! I'm also pretty sure my husband has a man crush on him.

Unfortunately, it will be six months before the next Runway season which means I'm pinning my hopes on Top Chef AllStars as my next competition reality show fix. Completely different industry but food is also a passion and it's one of those TV things DH ("dear husband" as he shall be referred to from now on unless I'm mad at him when I write) and I can share which is always good. Still, I miss Tim and Heidi.

To close with some completely unwarranted pridefulness there is also the fact that the last 3 PR winners were from Portland (Vancouver is right across the bridge). As if I had anything to do with it but I will get all uppity about it.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The B Word

What is up with "booties"? Why the infantilizing of a grown woman’s shoe? Are we meant to be kept as children despite our footwear? Surely someone in either the marketing or design department could have come up with something sexier or for god’s sake at least a bit more grown-up. Do I really want to go into Nordstrom’s shoe department and ask for a bootie? NO NO NO.

p.s. I gave up wearing booties when I got my first pair of Mary Janes.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Standard Time

12 hours in bed thanks to the time change- the only one of which I approve.

The spring nonsense must be stopped. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010


So far my ability to put words of any worth out there is appalling. I blame it on all the bad TV that is shoved down my throat every minute I'm not at work. It's not my fault. If you're going to re-run Legally Blonde, Miss Congeniality, Casino, Two Weeks Notice and their ilk I am going to have to watch. Don't even get me started on the Real Housewives and reality TV! The cable execs should be ashamed of themselves. If not for them I would be a real published author by now, fer sure.

Having said that, I have no shame- here is a picture of something sparkly and pretty to distract you from my lack of substance.

Isn't it fabulous?! I got it for my birthday. Someone far more artistic than me goes to estate sales, buys old jewelry, and turns it into charming fun bracelets. It's hard to see but there is even a little butterfly on the middle flower. Almost too pretty to wear!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Why Do This?

Because the voices in my head needed somewhere to go.

OK, that sounds a bit more psycho than I meant. Mostly my voices want to go shopping, eat chocolate or watch bad TV so don't be afraid. This will be fun, really.
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