At 1:38 today I turned off the light in my office and walked out. Prior to that I had walked around and said my goodbyes and remained resolutely cheerful and dignified. No tears. Not until I looked out my window at the view of the river and at my desk completely denuded of all my personal touches, like the feathered stripper shoe pen and teapot collection. Suddenly it became a moment of lasts- last time turning out the light, last time in the elevator (which went straight from our floor to the lobby- an almost unheard of circumstance), last time pulling out of the garage...ugh.
If you don't stop and think about things you can move through them without much pain. It's when you slow down that it can hurt. I'm going to stop thinking until January 3rd. Right now it is the holidays and there are presents to open, places to go, food to eat and a helluva lot of wine to drink. For that I'm grateful and as dear old Scarlett said, "After all, tomorrow is another day."
On the rewind :)
ReplyDeleteThat would have been hard, I now plan to roll forward to see where you went tomorrow!
These lines " If you don't stop and think about things you can move through them without much pain. It's when you slow down that it can hurt."
ReplyDeletemean so much...and there's so much of truth in them..loved reading ur post
from the fibro..Aakriti
http://aakritimalik.blogspot.com/2011/06/flutter.html
Ah, so difficult. Great post about a bad time.
ReplyDeleteThanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.