Met Gala 2018

Don't faint, yes, after a three year hiatus I'm back with my impressions of Monday night's parade o'celebs—this year's Met Gala.

Oh, Lord! Literally. The theme for the Met Gala this year was Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, giving the female attendees the option to either dress solely to show off their figure or to go full on religious regalia. Personally, the religious-themed dresses were infinitely more interesting. I already know that celebrities often have the kind of bodies mere mortals can’t obtain so to see them, ONE MORE TIME, dressed in wisps of fabric and striking the ubiquitous one-leg-outstretched in a skirt slit to the hip is…yawn.

Kind of disappointed in Zoe Kravitz. She usually hits the mark when theme dressing, but this looks as if her stylist took the night off so she grabbed a bolt of black lace and some fabric ties. As for Doutzen Kroes, yes, she's toned and beautiful but what does this dress have to do with anything? The shoe is hideous and the 'veil' in back ridiculous.

Seriously, ladies, pool your brain cells and come up with something interesting like these fierce fashionistas.

The queen. Who will not be denied. I may not always love her looks, but once again Rihanna goes all in on the theme and slays it. This is Maison Margiela and they did right by her.

Another woman whose looks don't always please. I'm really tired of Jennifer Lopez's trademarked left leg stomp stance, but this look? Fierce. The chestpiece cross into that hard edge shoulder is fabulous. And with minimal hair and neutral makeup it's all eyes on that Balmain dress.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is another Jennifer. Connelly is a big fan of Louis Vuitton and this Crusaders mesh-feeling dress works with the theme but is still high fashion.

Time to be complimentary and throw a bit of shade. This look encapsulates the theme right down to its over-the-top headpiece. Everything about it screams then ostentation and luxury of the early popes.  But her face makes me nervous. Her skin has been pulled so tight it looks painful. 

These two were not in theme related looks, but still managed a strong showing.

As the head of Versace, Donatella has got to stay on point with her brand and she did. It's sexy, but not sleazy and it looks luxurious.

Tracee Ellis-Ross can do no wrong in my book so I give full credit to her for looking fabulous even if I have no idea what this dress is supposed to represent. It's Michael Kors and is definitely his look, but beyond that I get nothing. The color is perfection on her.

Now to the not so nice portion of this post. The good news is that by-and-large the looks this year were more hit than miss. Which isn't to say there weren't some that, well, left me boggled.

Kris Jenner? Really?! This depresses me, as does the inclusion of much of the family at the event. I get they're a brand, but they are not, nor are they ever likely to be, high fashion. They have money. Period. I'm all for age-appropriate dressing (because yes, I believe in it), but this is dowdy. Not flattering or interesting.

Oh, dear. I really like Olivia Munn, but I am completely stymied by this. It's chain mail but looks painful and as if it should be part of the Egyptian exhibit. I'm getting Cleopatra not Catholic.

One, this is hideous in every sense of the word. Two, what does it have to do with anything? If the theme was antique Dutch upholstery, maybe. Epic fail for Diane Kruger.

As they say in the South, "Bless her heart." Katy Perry looks like the little girl who just wanted to dress up and took the theme in its most literal, childlike way. This is just sad.

Now, for a quick shout-out to two men I thought did an outstanding job and looked great. 

Trevor Noah brought refined elegance, but still managed to stay on-theme. Chadwick Boseman went all-in with Versace and still nailed it.

As opposed to Tom Brady who looked a right fool (or a Voldemort doppelgänger) with his wife, Gisele, in her ubiquitous skin tight, slit, cleavage baring, satin dress. This was the only photo that made me laugh out loud for how silly they looked.

Let's end on high note, shall we? I have always loved and appreciated Helena Bonham-Carter for her refusal to play by the fashion rules, but she's ceded her position to a new victor in the 'I can't take this seriously' category.

God bless you, Frances McDormand for this outrageous Valentino cape and headpiece. Oh, and for not playing the face game and wearing your glasses. And this pose. You are divine.

That's it for me. What were your most and least favorite looks this year?

All photos are from Vanityfair.com