That Kind of Happy

I’ve never been shy about flying my freak flag or about the fact that my freakiness can span from Zombie Boy to books. To me, there’s no dichotomy. One, I like to look at and the other, well, the other is my absolute passion. You figure it out.

OK, OK, books are my passion. If I could be paid to do nothing but read I’d be as happy as a pig in slop (unless they’re not really all that happy in slop; you pick the metaphor). If you’re shouting at your computer screen right now with suggestions like: ‘be an editor, be a copywriter, be a proofreader, be a reviewer’ you’ve just listed my top 4 job searches. Thanks anyway. P.S. There are jobs in these fields but the majority don’t pay and/or want you to have 5 years experience for an entry level job.

So let’s not go down the employment path because I don’t want to head there. That’s reality and I’m simply not in the mood (read The Unemployment Diaries posts if you are). This is a purely happy post. On Monday I met with the editor of a book review site to discuss volunteer/learning opportunities and we were joined by another reviewer. The talk was all books, reading, how to grow this site, ideas, writing…and I was almost hyperventilating. My hands were clenched in my lap because I had only two ways to go: start flailing like a toddler who has huge emotions to express but can’t verbalize them or, pee on the seat like a puppy. I did neither (haters) and even managed to keep my voice level but my excitement had not abated by the time I reached home (at which point I really did need to pee: 2 Diet Cokes + one heavyset man in the restroom for 10 minutes = you do the math. Hint- I would have forfeited a kidney before venturing within in 50 feet of that bathroom).

In fact, I’m still jittery excited. I met two new women and have plans to see them again- to discuss the site and even better, just to talk about books and writing. When you add in that one of them said she liked my writing? Well, I won’t embarrass myself with how happy it makes me. Like this is not just some silly indulgence. It’s mine and it’s real.

I have no point here except this is joy. This is what makes me blissful even when I can’t find the right words or I’m reading a book I don’t get. I want to learn more, I want to help, I want to be immersed.

Yup, this kind of happy. The kind that usually makes me gag and want to hit someone but sometimes...sometimes it works.

Source: funny-cut-cats-wallpapers.blogspot.com via Heidi on Pinterest