Hello. My Name Is Catherine and I'm A...

Chapstick-aholic. Oh, I’ve heard the urban myth that most lip balm varietals contain an ingredient that makes your lips drier so you need to use more and more of the product but if I’m going to ignore the almost irrefutable evidence of Bigfoot that my husband keeps presenting then why would I believe that nonsense?

It all began when my mother refused to let me wear make-up until I turned 13. At that point I could wear a lip product. NOT lipstick or anything with color but what amounted to a gloss. My love affair with Bonne Bell Lip Smackers began. Looking back they were crack in a tube for pre-teen girls. Nothing but sugar, artificial flavorings and colorings, some of which can’t even be tested on monkeys anymore. We LOVED it and yes, I thought it constituted a food group. 

Once I outgrew Bonne Bell I went through a phase where only lipstick would do and the only lip emollient I used was Vaseline every night before bed- which sounds completely groddy but is (I’m almost certain) the main reason I don’t have any of those feathery lines around my mouth. I did that up until I started thinking about using ‘petroleum’ products on my face. At that point I waved goodbye and blithely hopped onto the Chapstick wagon train which brings us up to date.

The sad proof of my addiction is below. Oh, wait, let me rationalize for one more minute. I LIVED IN UTAH for 10 years!! A land so parched that your nose bleeds without warning and your skin starts to crack the minute you exit the shower. I didn’t mean to become an addict but you had to use lip balms every minute or well, you’d die. Seriously.

Now I’m in a milder climate with a normal level of moisture in the air but the damage is done. And maybe they’re just gateway lip balms but I no longer use anything that has parabens in it. I do my best to stick with only the highest grade of crack lip care.

My name is Catherine and I’m a chapstick-aholic.

A. 100% natural roller ball orange lip balm. This stays in my room for when I'm reading.

B. The best and original- cherry chapstick. This lives in my purse because it has the lightest hint of red so if you're out and don't want to reapply lipstck this will keep you from looking washed out

C. My latest, given to me by my very cool sister-in-law. All natural mango/green tea chapstick. This guys stays in the living room.

D. Chapstick #2- the car is her home so that I don't have to reach into my purse while driving. Safety first, people.

E. Another paraben free basic chapstick. I found this unopened in my dad's desk drawer when I was cleaning stuff up after he died. It's in my nightstand now. Stupid but it reminds me of him.

Sometimes you're going out during the day but not wearing any make-up. There comes a point in life where a nude lips makes you look haggard so just a bit of color is nice. The Bigelow is a soft pink (and VERY minty) and the Burt's Bees is peachy. These are glossy so wear with care because your hair will get stuck if the wind is blowing.

I told my sister-in-law I wanted nice chapsticks for Christmas because I'm too cheap to buy them so she sent me this entire tin of Beecology's Buzz Balm. I'm pretty sure that, knowing my problem, this makes her an enabler.