Holiday Expectations

Tuesday evening and the gifts have all been bought, the house decorated, and Christmas treats baked. The mall and post office have been braved and conquered. All the things that need to happen for Christmas have been accomplished but soon the hard part begins; the part that includes the expectations (oh-so-many expectations). Gathering at this time of year is as freighted with meaning for families as Valentine’s Day is for lovers.

By that I mean, the expectation that something magical and profoundly different will happen when a group of people related by blood get together at this time of year. So many family members, be it mother, sibling, father, grandparent, spouse put onerous standards of togetherness onto what is usually a brief span of time (not including what you spend in delays at the airport or on the road). The result is frayed nerves, short tempers, and always ALWAYS someone being disappointed or hurt. Either a conversation was left unsaid, a song unsung, a ‘cherished’ activity undone, a photo not taken. It is seldom that reality and expectation connect and that’s why it’s called life. It’s messy and cranky and silly and tired and fun. And it should be enough.

So here’s to the fact that my brothers will continue to call me Beavis and blame me for farting in front of their kids (as if!) when it was them, my mother will stress over every detail of everything, my sisters-in-law will float graciously through the days making nice with everyone (except the snarky one who has the a wicked sense of humor- you know who you are), and my nieces and nephews will make me smile because they’re all almost as tall as I am and so worldly, sweet, and young. I’ll keep smiling, without expectation, and in hopes of deflecting those of people who need something else or something more. This is what we have. This is who we are. Family.

What about you? Do you have expectations for the holidays or do you have to deal with others? Is it a stressful time or relaxed?