Friday, November 11, 2011

The Unemployment Diaries- Job Opportunities

It's called humanitarian efforts, people

It’s not often (read: never) that I get to put optimistic news in this area so it’s with great joy that I announce I’m pretty sure my employment woes are at an end. In the last several days two massive hiring opportunities have come to my attention and I’m going to pursue them and hopefully, be off to bigger and better things.

First of all, Greece is forming a new government. I like the ocean, olive oil, seafood, ruins, and good looking men I can’t understand (just don’t talk, all right?). I’m virtually certain there’s a place for me there. Ministry of Fashion? Director of Reading and Culture? I’m a hard worker, resourceful, and ethical. I can drop the ethical thing if that’s a issue. Some say bribe, I say gift, let’s not split hairs but get this ancient noble country back on its feet. It does mean some of you are going to have to start paying taxes. Sorry.

The Greece thing is a temp job as it’s a ‘transitional’ government (given how long they’ve been around I imagine their idea of transition is different then ours but at some point it will end) so I need to think long term. Thankfully, a monolith of intelligence has finally awakened to the fact that information professionals aka librarians are quite knowledgeable and very versatile at schussing out difficult to find information. More importantly we’re specifically trained to cull the one million hits of drek you get from any given search into the fifteen usable pieces of info you need. Hello, CIA!

I never thought I would like these guys much less want to work for them but when the mainstream media trumpets the existence of teams of “vengeful librarians” working at the CIA I know I’ve found nirvana. Get paid to do research AND be a bitch? Stop your search gentlemen, you’re looking at the perfect candidate. And don’t get all uppity about civil liberties, I’m not going to narc out any of my followers. You guys are sacrosanct and that will go in my contract. My neighbors are a different story.

This could be me- it's called disguise for a reason

There you have it. It’s been a tough depressing haul but it looks like my unemployment woes are on the way out. Whether it’s moving abroad and hanging out with the Onassis clan or reading tweets until my eyes bleed, I’m going to be a government employee. See ya!

5 comments: said...

You had me going there in the first paragraph. I was all ready and excited to write a congratulatory comment, so I'll congratulate you on writing a post that amused me greatly and kept me from my Federal holiday (see, working for the government has its perks!) errands a little longer.

Kathy G said...

I'll second logyexpress...very creative post!

Catherine said...

Thanks Tracy and Kathy! I may still be looking for work but I'm hanging onto my sense of humor.

tweedlibrarian said...

You might also have a chance to help the new Italian government clean up the mess Berlusconi will leave. Men with an Italian accent...swoon...

Excellent, entertaining post. And I echo logyexpress - I LOVE your wicked sense of humor!

Pamela D. Hart said...

Catherine, I also thought, Yippee, she found a job and in Greece! What a lucky Gal! Although how much actual work would get accomplished with all those good looking men in such amazing weather…But hey, who am I to judge? If they are willing to pay you for lounging around in the sun with handsome men at your beck and call…where do I apply? ;-)

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