Saturday, July 23, 2011

Lesson Learned

I am not a high maintenance creature. I have shown you unconditional love since the first moment we met even though you told my foster parent that you preferred a calico and a female (yes, I heard that).  

Despite my inherent nature I learned to fetch a rubber ball and even came to enjoy it; almost as much as you did.

I let you vacuum me and clip my nails (the cat treats helped).

I did my best to understand when you realized I wasn’t supposed to get a cup of food twice a day but only a half a cup and cut me back (but the damage was done and you would forever tell people that I was ‘big boned’ when they said fat).

Even though you were crying you still put me on a plane by myself in that cold dark place and while I made sure to cry and mewl so piteously at the baggage claim that several passengers wanted to call the ASPCA, I stopped the minute I saw you.

As fierce as I am, I could strip your flesh to the bone and inflict permanent damage on your being but I never put my claws out when we played (you’re welcome).

I clasped my front paws around your face and licked your nose when you came home every night.

You allowed an 8 month old cocker spaniel with no bladder control into our space for 3 days and rather than throw a fit and sulk under the bed, I attempted to play with him (not my fault he was too stupid).

I appreciated your un-evolved attempts to talk to me and responded as best I could so you would feel like we were having a conversation. I even let you use baby talk to me even though you told people you didn’t.

I licked your tears when you were sad (and it’s NOT just a salt thing).

So, if you leave me for a week with a 14 year old girl who used to like me but has now discovered boys, and she shows up once a day not twice and won’t play with me but talks on the phone and uses your make-up, I will shred the hot pink Nicole Miller double breasted blazer dress you planned on wearing to your brother’s wedding.  

Lesson learned.

This post is in response to the RemembeRED prompt:
Write a post that either starts or ends with the words "Lesson learned." Word limit: 400 words.


Abby said...

I loved the first part and was thinking it was so sweet, but then the last paragraph popped up and it went from loved to adored. This is TOTALLY my kind of piece with my kind of attitude. Perhaps I was a cat in another life. If that's the case, I want to be yours ;)

Great take on the prompt.

Kelly Coyle DiNorcia said...

Hello from a fellow Lady Blogger! Nice to meet you!

This is a great piece - cats are amazing creatures, aren't they? We fostered a number of dogs and kittens over the years, and my oldest cat kindly tolerated them all, but our most recent addition, a 100 pound lab who barks at her all the time, has sent her to pooping under the bed!

therhythmmethod said...

Love this post. Our cat has a similar attitude. He likes to poo next to the litter tray if we're gone too long.

Niki Hudson said...

Ah, such a love!Cats do have such unique personalities, don't they? And such comedic timing! Great post!

Jennifer Smart said...

This is so very feline. I really enjoyed it. Our cat totally ignores us for at least a day if we go away. She just flicks her fluffy tail and stalks off. said...

Oh, I love this one! I especially like that you used the cat's POV.

But I think someone took apart your cat and put him together again backwards... I understand, that happens to mine sometimes too.

Very sweet and well written!

julie moore said...

Cats do have such cool pesonalities. I love the fact that you tell people he's big boned when they say he's "fat". I tell people that about my bulldog.

This absolutely adorable and I love the thoughts this cat has going on. The thing is that he probably really is thinking such things.

angela said...

I feel as though you've really captured "cat essence" here, nice job!

However, I shed a tear for you at the ruined Nicole Miller dress; her clothes are so lovely!

Galit Breen said...

Yowsers! I think you captured your cat's voice here. Your relationship and bond shines through.

I wasn't expecting that ending, but yes. I imagine that lesson learned worked very well here! :)

{Your poor blazer!}

Catherine said...

Thanks for all the positive comments!

And for those of you worried about the blazer dress- this all occurred almost 20 years ago so I took it to a tailor and she cut the bottom off and turned it into a (very) short dress. Which I wore to the wedding to the extreme dismay of my father.

Jackie said...

What a great way to address this prompt! A lesson learned for the both of you, I assume :)

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Most creative response to the prompt I've read! An awesome prompt this week because I've been overwhelmed with all the great responses...and this is definitely another one of my favorites. Loved the kitty's perspective. I could so see my cats saying many of these same things. Really great job with this!! said...

What a great post! Poor kitty! My dog is not high maintenance either, although he's clearly number 1.

Mrs Catch said...

That's one adorable cat. Great story. Loved the ending.

MultipleMum said...

Oh Yay! Some creative writing at the Weekend Rewind. Your cat has spunk (and tells tales it seems). I liked this piece a lot. Thanks for joining our creative collection Catherine x

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