Lesson Learned

I am not a high maintenance creature. I have shown you unconditional love since the first moment we met even though you told my foster parent that you preferred a calico and a female (yes, I heard that).  

Despite my inherent nature I learned to fetch a rubber ball and even came to enjoy it; almost as much as you did.

I let you vacuum me and clip my nails (the cat treats helped).

I did my best to understand when you realized I wasn’t supposed to get a cup of food twice a day but only a half a cup and cut me back (but the damage was done and you would forever tell people that I was ‘big boned’ when they said fat).

Even though you were crying you still put me on a plane by myself in that cold dark place and while I made sure to cry and mewl so piteously at the baggage claim that several passengers wanted to call the ASPCA, I stopped the minute I saw you.

As fierce as I am, I could strip your flesh to the bone and inflict permanent damage on your being but I never put my claws out when we played (you’re welcome).

I clasped my front paws around your face and licked your nose when you came home every night.

You allowed an 8 month old cocker spaniel with no bladder control into our space for 3 days and rather than throw a fit and sulk under the bed, I attempted to play with him (not my fault he was too stupid).

I appreciated your un-evolved attempts to talk to me and responded as best I could so you would feel like we were having a conversation. I even let you use baby talk to me even though you told people you didn’t.

I licked your tears when you were sad (and it’s NOT just a salt thing).

So, if you leave me for a week with a 14 year old girl who used to like me but has now discovered boys, and she shows up once a day not twice and won’t play with me but talks on the phone and uses your make-up, I will shred the hot pink Nicole Miller double breasted blazer dress you planned on wearing to your brother’s wedding.  

Lesson learned.