Saturday, April 28, 2012

Anger Management? Maybe Not

The last 16 months have not been easy for but I take pride in the fact that a trained mental health professional recently pronounced, “You’re doing really well. I thought you’d be bat shit by now.” High praise indeed. I’ve: meditated, networked, revised, reviewed, connected, stayed open, looked on the situation as an opportunity not a problem, finessed, listened, updated, smiled, made calls, joined groups, breathed deeply, believed. Unfortunately, the veneer is wearing thin as evidenced in some of my recent posts. I’m afraid I’m backsliding into emotions that should have come and gone by now, namely anger. Lots of it. 

How is it manifesting? Initially, against inanimate objects. Showering apparently has a lot of anger triggers. For instance, aside from ripping me off, why is this Dove bath wash designed in such a way that it cannot be rested upside down to get to the majority of body wash for which you friggin’ paid? And Vaseline Intensive Care? You are working my last nerve. This bottle is half full but the whole tube/pump concept is bullshit. It rests on the bottom in one location and once it can no longer get lotion in that ONE spot it ceases to function. And just like Dove it is designed in such a way that you can’t rest it upside down to get to the lotion. Honestly, personal care product manufacturers, why are you f’ing with us? It cannot require an advanced degree to make containers that allow the consumer to get every drop of the product they purchased.  Do the right thing before someone gets hurt.




Driving. Apparently, the rest of humanity has evolved to the point that they have telepathy and so the majority of drivers don’t need to use their turn signals because everyone knows what they’re going to do. I’m not evolved and so will honk and flip you off when you stop dead in front of me to make a left turn across a double yellow line. I may even follow you to your house and beat you with tire iron. How’s that for evolved? And if for some reason you’re so special that you can park your car over the white parking lines, not between them, then you need to know that I’m so special you may come out to your car to find You Suck keyed on the side of your vehicle. Could happen.



The animal world. This overlaps with driving in that I used to b a compassionate person with a natural aversion to hitting any creature frozen in the road. I’m still there but if you, Mr. Squirrel, decide to run halfway across the road and then stop to look at me as if remembering that you really wanted to be back on the other side, I will flatten you. And crows? No deals there. I drive directly at them. They’re Satan with wings.

As you’re probably dialing the Portland animal safety and DMV hotlines by now I’ll stop. Also because I’m pretty sure I’m about to burst a blood vessel in my forehead. And I’m not even warmed up.

Anything yanking your chain right now? Vent!

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Pretty much everything is at the moment Catherine,

I ALMOST pity the male friend who made the mistake of asking me if I had my period this morning (when will they learn?).

I think you are doing pretty well all things considered.

Hang in there, I'm rooting for you x

tweedlibrarian said...

I have COMPLETELY lost my compassion for strangers talking to me. That means: signature gatherers, street punks with dogs asking for money, drunken fools nearly tripping over me asking for coins, perky youth offering out their hand while trying to suck me into saving the seals, starving children or the environment. Some Save the Animals jerk at PSU the other day said something snotty when I walked by like "So you hate animals?" No, jerk, I hate YOU disturbing my peace.

Wow, apparently I needed to get that off my chest.

Oh, and I admire you not going bat shit crazy. Not sure I could hold up as well.

Abby said...

Just so you know, these things have nothing to do with unemployment. It has to do with the fact that people are tedious and all of these things--plus a million more--make me want to either thrown things or be a hermit.

Hang in there.

logyexpress.com said...

Some of my most vicious anger is saved for inanimate objects. Technology is yanking my chain, big time. Work computer, home computer, printers, streaming Netflix, my noise cancelling headphones, etc...

All this stuff which was supposed to make my life easier/better, but which mocks me and turns me into someone who talks to myself instead.

Can you balance the bottles upside down in a glass?

Catherine said...

Tracey, those are all perfectly reasonable outlets for your anger because you KNOW they're just trying to piss you off. And yes, I could put the bottles upside down in a glass but I'd ratehr just angry everytime I see them. Beats hitting my husband.

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