Some people enjoy making
decisions. Weighing options, reviewing choices, lingering in the excitement of
what might be. I’d rather give myself a tracheotomy with a Bic pen. I can make
decisions (both good and bad) but for me the rush comes when the decision is
made. When I announce: Let’s make an
offer on the house, or chirp: Yes, I
will have a second glass of Pinot Noir, or assert: I don’t need these stilettos but I want them. All good times.
Crazy talk aside (or right-thinking as I like to call it), there is the basic psychological issue: some people revel in the feeling of endless opportunity and potential and therefore prolong attaching themselves to one outcome while others, like me, are happiest when things are nailed down, concrete, finalized. Today’s world seems to be better suited for the free-as-the-wind folks but if you are not so inclined how do you cope? For me, there is the option of acceptance (which I’ve discussed before). I’m not always great at it but sometimes it suits like a cold glass of water when you’re thirsty- nothing else will do. It gives the emotional relief of a decision when really you are simply ceding to circumstances. So, I’ve made some ‘decisions’ recently and while I’m not quite ready to spill on what they are they’ve changed my perception of my life and situation in a way that is sweet relief. Will I be a Mach 10 freakout headcase in 6 months? Most likely but let’s not look that far ahead, all right?
One of the reasons that
options and the time to mull them doesn’t work for me is that I have the same
brain as HAL from 2001: A
Space Odyssey (if you don’t know what I’m talking about you should not be
here. Seriously, it’s a classic- watch it). I can come up with permutations the
average (non-delusional) person would never even contemplate. You see a lovely
wooded area by the side of the road and I’m calculating the odds that there’s a
body in there somewhere. There are no innocuous wood flooring creaks in the
bedroom at night- it’s something evil and paranormal and your ignorance is
likely to get you killed. The person who died at a neighbor’s house was the
victim of a satanic cult ritual not just the grandfather of one of the owners.
Crazy talk aside (or right-thinking as I like to call it), there is the basic psychological issue: some people revel in the feeling of endless opportunity and potential and therefore prolong attaching themselves to one outcome while others, like me, are happiest when things are nailed down, concrete, finalized. Today’s world seems to be better suited for the free-as-the-wind folks but if you are not so inclined how do you cope? For me, there is the option of acceptance (which I’ve discussed before). I’m not always great at it but sometimes it suits like a cold glass of water when you’re thirsty- nothing else will do. It gives the emotional relief of a decision when really you are simply ceding to circumstances. So, I’ve made some ‘decisions’ recently and while I’m not quite ready to spill on what they are they’ve changed my perception of my life and situation in a way that is sweet relief. Will I be a Mach 10 freakout headcase in 6 months? Most likely but let’s not look that far ahead, all right?
I think I like both the excitement of what might be and also the rush of having gotten the decision made, done, and over with.
ReplyDeleteFor example, with a gift card. I regularly take a month or more to mull over all of the things I could get with it. But after a while, spending it starts to seem like something on my to do list (or something that might fall off of my to do list that I will kick myself later for completely forgetting about). So I make my purchases and then it is like a relief that it is done.
Occasionally, there is spenders remorse...like maybe I should have gotten something more practical. But that's a different topic entirely.
Laura- I'm the same way except even worse. I held onto a Nordstrom's gift for almost 6 months (mostly because I forgot I had it and I don't shop much anymore) but was so happy when I remembered it. The anticipation is fun.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from the Not a Mommy Blog Hop. I'm kind of the opposite of you -- I need time to make decisions, even if it's stupid stuff like what to eat for dinner. The trouble for me is that is every decision made means there's something else you didn't get to do. My lack of decisiveness on small things drives my husband crazy, so I've tried to get better about snap decision making. On the big things fortunately we're in sync -- we both like to over-plan.
ReplyDeleteI love both. The anticipation of choosing and I love the satisfaction that comes with putting something in permanence.
ReplyDeleteBut, like you, I also have one of those brains that will come up with the most ridiculously-heinous thoughts during the mulling process.
When it comes time to making big decisions, I'm never sure if I'm going to be able to enjoy the process or if I'll just need to *get it done* so I stop thinking about all the ways things can go pear shaped. (Though sometimes that thinking continues after a decision has been made.)
(Stopping by from the Not Mommy Hop.)