One of the reasons that options and the time to mull them doesn’t work for me is that I have the same brain as
HAL from 2001: A
Space Odyssey (if you don’t know what I’m talking about you should not be
here. Seriously, it’s a classic- watch it). I can come up with permutations the
average (non-delusional) person would never even contemplate. You see a lovely
wooded area by the side of the road and I’m calculating the odds that there’s a
body in there somewhere. There are no innocuous wood flooring creaks in the
bedroom at night- it’s something evil and paranormal and your ignorance is
likely to get you killed. The person who died at a neighbor’s house was the
victim of a satanic cult ritual not just the grandfather of one of the owners.
Crazy talk aside (or right-thinking as I like to call it), there is the basic psychological issue: some people revel in the feeling of endless opportunity and potential and therefore prolong attaching themselves to one outcome while others, like me, are happiest when things are nailed down, concrete, finalized. Today’s world seems to be better suited for the free-as-the-wind folks but if you are not so inclined how do you cope? For me, there is the option of acceptance (which I’ve discussed before). I’m not always great at it but sometimes it suits like a cold glass of water when you’re thirsty- nothing else will do. It gives the emotional relief of a decision when really you are simply ceding to circumstances. So, I’ve made some ‘decisions’ recently and while I’m not quite ready to spill on what they are they’ve changed my perception of my life and situation in a way that is sweet relief. Will I be a Mach 10 freakout headcase in 6 months? Most likely but let’s not look that far ahead, all right?