Saturday, July 2, 2011

Take Me Away

Take me away, a secret place
A sweet escape, take me away
Take me away to better days
Take me away, a hiding place

Natasha Bedingford “Pocket full of Sunshine


We can all acknowledge that the only time I have a pocket full of sunshine is after picking up my meds at the Rite-Aid but the refrain for this song has been stuck in my head for days keeping the premise on my mind. Do you ever have that sense that all you need is a change of scenery? That if you went somewhere else everything would be different? I am churning that feeling out like radio waves right now. After being laid off, burrowing in was a way to feel safe- my bed, my room with the sunshine pouring in, my books…those things helped me feel secure which was good after the shock but now I’m left feeling trapped and sometimes depressed.  The sameness is stifling and serves only to remind me that this is reality and it may never change or that it could change and would include bankruptcy, selling the house, moving in with my mother, driving my car into a tree (this innate ability to catapult my mind from reality to the apocalypse in a matter of seconds is one of my husband’s least favorite things about me. Killjoy)

For me the sweet escape feels like Italy. I’ve never been but am pretty certain it is the place I’m looking for. I know that if I had a month in a Tuscan villa,


touring Italy as the mood struck




                                                                  





I would morph into some fantastic blend of Sophia Loren and Isak Dinesen.


Drinks on a terrace in Capri with scintillating conversation (forget that I only had one year college Italian) would revitalize and renew,


Charming courtyards would beckon me to sit and write

Annie Schlecter for Coastal Living

The ideas would flow and expand with the glorious food and wine




While charming but intriguing walkways would lead me to new adventures.



In short, if I were somewhere else I’d be someone else. Right? Not so, says a dear friend who has known me for decades. He claims “You’d turn around and you’d still be you.”  First of all, thanks for that, but I could be a different me. One with no cares who lives in the moment and is open to adventure.
It’s asking a lot but I’m looking for better days and maybe a hiding place. What about you?


14 comments:

Ixy said...

"We can all acknowledge that the only time I have a pocket full of sunshine is after picking up my meds at the Rite-Aid" - LOL!! Me too...although Kauai, Hawaii made me feel pretty sunny.

Amazing pictures of Italy - hope you get to see it in person one day!

Kathy G said...

I'd have to agree with your friend--a change of scenery won't change what's going on within you. I'm ready for a nice vacation (which, sadly, won't be happening for a while), but I don't need it to make me happy.

Catherine said...

That's funny, Ixy, because Maui was the one place where I ever felt completely relaxed!

I know, Kathy. I am what I am and am all right with that. I would just love a break from the norm.

Tweed Librarian said...

What a great collection of Italy photos! Sophia Loren is so beautiful.
The country is so beautiful!

I think we're still the same when we travel but we can test out different aspects of our personality - the advernturer, the carefree woman-of-a-certain age, the sophisticate, the photographer, the very relaxed temporarily retired librarian. I also think a physical escape from life's problems is therapeutic, even if it's just at the coast. (Family vacations don't count as escape.)

Even your trips to the gardens you visit ground you, so I imagine a trip to Italy would be great fun if you made lots of time to do relaxing things. And if you're gonna declare bankruptcy, you might as well run up the credit cards in the meantime!

Catherine said...

You are such a wise librarian and thank you for such a perceptive response- that's exactly how I feel.

And you're spot on about the bankruptcy!

Kathy said...

My husband is much like you somehwere else means being someone else. I do believe we are who we are however our circumstances make us into something we are not and oftentimes we don't like us very much either.

Sophia Loren was wonderful pick! Dreaming to escape a terrible and uncontrollable reality can save our true self. We are in a terrible position as well. Every day brings a new problem that we can not control and sometimes not solve. It just keep piling on. Oh when will it end I was saying just the other day. And that is not me at all. In fact Hubby was shocked. I usually just let things pass or settle and move forward, always forward.

I found that we have to always keep close to our hearts the difference between the truth and dreaming. I do agree Tweed Librarian is wise in saying, "if you're gonna declare bankruptcy, you might as well run up the credit cards in the meantime!"

You are alone in your situation. Life will go on whether we like it or not... might as well have some fun while we are here :)

Sydney Shop Girl said...

May I share your dream, Catherine? It sounds like just what I need as well.

SSG xxx

Sydney Shop Girl blog

therhythmmethod said...

You would still be the same you, but perhaps with a different perspective on your life? I look to books for a new perspective. Sometimes I find it in the most unlikely of places.
These pics provide lovely daydreaming material.

Abby said...

I agree with all your other wise friends in that wherever you go, there you are. However, there's something to be said for getting away from our own reality for awhile and indulging in a little fantasy. As long as you realize it's temporary--that it's a vacation from your problems (to quote the Amercian classic "What About Bob?"--I think it's great. We all want an escape.

I could get more serious and personal about my own attempts at escape, but I'll spare you and say that you can't run away from your problems. However, you can nurture your soul and spirit by indulging in a change in scenery--it doesn't even have to be Italy (although hell yeah, on that front!)

lafemmeroar said...

I feel like escaping to where those photos were taken. This post gets me thinking about going on vacation.

Doreen said...

What beautiful photo's; I'd love to escape with you!
When my financial world collapsed I decided to follow my dream and now 3 years later I am still quite broke but happy.
I am a new visitor and follower via Java.
I hope you have a nice 4th of July and I hope some doors open for you very soon!

Niki Hudson said...

I too, dream of Tuscany! One day I am determined to get there: I just hope it will live up to all of my fantasies about it. Until then, I find that living in a town I absolutely LOVE (having decided to make the move here post-divorce six years ago) has helped tremendously.
You may still be the same core person no matter the location, but the growth you make (and there's ALWAYS room for that) can certainly be inspired by your surroundings. :)

Mila said...

Catherine - I think about hopping on a plane to Italy all the time; it's becoming quite obsessive really :)

When we are in a dark place, I agree it helps to break away, to be in a different physical location. That's why coffee shops are my home away from home.

Sometimes your brain gets into this merry-go-round, and you wish you can take it out of your skull and wash it clean. Well, since doing that involves death, the next best thing - buy an awesome shampoo and say to yourself as you wash your hair, "I am washing away all the things that are not contributing to my health, wealth and beauty."

This seems to work for me. If not, go have a cold one. I believe Portland's got some awesome brewery. Make sure you take a cab home :)

Catherine said...

@Niki- I agree about where you live and I do love Portland but it's part of the problem right now-NO jobs. Makes it less fun.

@Mila- I love that idea and am going to do it. I tend to do my affirmations to help me fall asleep but a waking one is a great idea.

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